85% of youth workers are awful with names.
I’m not sure how accurate that stat is, but I imagine it’s pretty close. It’s like a pre-requisite to working with students. It’s probably even apart of the hiring process for youth pastors…
Hiring Committee Person: How good are you with names?
Youth Pastor: Great! I actually have a system that involves photos, string and tape on a bulletin board in my office to help me remember the names of all of my students! Ha!!!
Hiring Committee Person: Oh.
(HCP uncomfortably adjusts in his chair)
HCP: Umm…you’re not exactly what we’re looking for.
Youth Pastor: Wait…really?
HCP: Please leave right now.
Youth workers deal/ dealt with this problem in different ways. Many go with the nickname approach, where they completely disregard birthnames altogether and instead give out their own.
This is always my approach. The nicknames don’t have to make sense. They just have to be something I could remember. Sometimes, I am so creatively dry that I would just give them other students’ names as nicknames. Rachel becomes Heather. Jake becomes Kevin.
Carl becomes Tabitha.
My favorite approach, though, is when youth workers try to ignore the problem altogether by using generic pronouns to dodge the fact that they have no idea who they are talking to…
Jake: Hey Pastor Stephen!
Stephen: There he is! How are you doing…friend-o-mine?
Jake: Good. It’s been a hard week. Long.
Stephen: I bet it has been, buddy. School treating you well?
Jake: I guess. Can’t wait for it to be over.
Stephen: I know what you mean…Chief.
Jake: Yep. Well, talk to you later Stephen!
Stephen: Cya later… Dr. Cool!!!
Students usually picked up on this and eventually called the youth worker out.
Jake: You don’t know my name, do you?
Stephen: Sure I do, partner! It’s…the Ladies Man!!!
(Jake stares at him angrily)
Stephen: …cuz all the ladies flock to you, fellow human!
(Jake keeps staring)
Stephen: Okay. Fine. I have no idea who you are.
Admitting there is a problem is the first step to recovery…
Love it, big guy!
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