85% of youth workers are awful with names.
I’m not sure how accurate that stat is, but I imagine it’s pretty close. It’s like a pre-requisite to working with students. It’s probably even apart of the hiring process for youth pastors…
Hiring Committee Person: How good are you with names?
Youth Pastor: Great! I actually have a system that involves photos, string and tape on a bulletin board in my office to help me remember the names of all of my students! Ha!!!
Hiring Committee Person: Oh.
(HCP uncomfortably adjusts in his chair)
HCP: Umm…you’re not exactly what we’re looking for.
Youth Pastor: Wait…really?
HCP: Please leave right now.
Youth workers deal/ dealt with this problem in different ways. Many go with the nickname approach, where they completely disregard birthnames altogether and instead give out their own.
This is always my approach. The nicknames don’t have to make sense. They just have to be something I could remember. Sometimes, I am so creatively dry that I would just give them other students’ names as nicknames. Rachel becomes Heather. Jake becomes Kevin.
Carl becomes Tabitha.
My favorite approach, though, is when youth workers try to ignore the problem altogether by using generic pronouns to dodge the fact that they have no idea who they are talking to…
Jake: Hey Pastor Stephen!
Stephen: There he is! How are you doing…friend-o-mine?
Jake: Good. It’s been a hard week. Long.
Stephen: I bet it has been, buddy. School treating you well?
Jake: I guess. Can’t wait for it to be over.
Stephen: I know what you mean…Chief.
Jake: Yep. Well, talk to you later Stephen!
Stephen: Cya later… Dr. Cool!!!
Students usually picked up on this and eventually called the youth worker out.
Jake: You don’t know my name, do you?
Stephen: Sure I do, partner! It’s…the Ladies Man!!!
(Jake stares at him angrily)
Stephen: …cuz all the ladies flock to you, fellow human!
(Jake keeps staring)
Stephen: Okay. Fine. I have no idea who you are.
Admitting there is a problem is the first step to recovery…
Friday, January 25, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
The Final Announcement
This is no ordinary announcement. This is the one that is so important that it deserves to be re-announced after the closing prayer so that it was fresh on students’ minds as they are walking out the door.
More often than not, it is yelled over the exiting music as students stand up and scurry out to their cars for Taco Bell. I’m not sure why, but the 'announcer' always seemed urgently panicked as if each student needs to grasp all details related to this announcement.
It was shouted as quickly as possible, with no time for breaths.
“Have a good week! Don’t forget to invite 11 friends to camp tomorrow at school! Business cards in the back! Grab a business card!!!”
And sometimes they were long.
“Alrighty. Lust Sunday is in two weeks! Mark your calendars because it is going to be a powerful time, guys! If you are struggling with porn, you gotta be there! GOTTA STOP LOOKING AT PORN, GUYS!”
The best ones were so long that they were still talking as people were getting in their cars.
“Lock-In is this Friday! Be there! Bring a 2-liter and $5! And invite your friends. Please no fireworks this time! And be on time because registration takes longer when you guys are late. Which makes my job harder. And we don’t want my job to be any harder right? Am-I-right?! HA!!! Give a guy a break!!! Oh! And make sure your mom knows that Tommy has a peanut allergy so if she bakes brownies, NOT to put peanuts in them this time. No peanuts, guys! Amen? Amen!!!”
By this point, we had ordered our food at Taco Bell.
More often than not, it is yelled over the exiting music as students stand up and scurry out to their cars for Taco Bell. I’m not sure why, but the 'announcer' always seemed urgently panicked as if each student needs to grasp all details related to this announcement.
It was shouted as quickly as possible, with no time for breaths.
“Have a good week! Don’t forget to invite 11 friends to camp tomorrow at school! Business cards in the back! Grab a business card!!!”
And sometimes they were long.
“Alrighty. Lust Sunday is in two weeks! Mark your calendars because it is going to be a powerful time, guys! If you are struggling with porn, you gotta be there! GOTTA STOP LOOKING AT PORN, GUYS!”
The best ones were so long that they were still talking as people were getting in their cars.
“Lock-In is this Friday! Be there! Bring a 2-liter and $5! And invite your friends. Please no fireworks this time! And be on time because registration takes longer when you guys are late. Which makes my job harder. And we don’t want my job to be any harder right? Am-I-right?! HA!!! Give a guy a break!!! Oh! And make sure your mom knows that Tommy has a peanut allergy so if she bakes brownies, NOT to put peanuts in them this time. No peanuts, guys! Amen? Amen!!!”
By this point, we had ordered our food at Taco Bell.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Christian T-Shirts
This is definitely one of the more effective ways to share your faith. Everyone wears shirts, so why not turn us into walking billboards for JC? And while we’re at it, lets make them look like other, more popular t-shirts to trick our lost friends!
The ole bait-and-hook: fashion edition.
Before ya knew it, we have walking evangelists all over the place! Instead of an AEROPOSTLE shirt, it's OURAPOSTLE. Boom. ABERCROMBIE & FITCH? Nope. ABREADCRUMB & FISH. That one is a soul piercer.
Guy #1: Hey! Is that a Tommy Hilfiger shirt?
Guy #2: Nope. Look closer bro. It’s a Tell Jesus He’ll Forgive shirt.
Guy #1: Whoa. I…uhh…wow. Can you pray for me?!
This outreach method is flawless because you could be bold in your faith without having to actually open your mouth. The t-shirt does the talking. Words are overrated anyway. In fact, conversation just takes away from the "T". There were no words I could say to add or take away from the powerful message displayed on my chest (Rev. 22:18-19).
Christian T-shirts may be the most effective form of sharing your faith to the unbelieving world. If Jesus lived in today’s world of graphic design and printing presses, he’d be all over it. He could just storm through the temple with a Jesus is my Homeboy robe and point to it. Wouldn’t even need the whip.
I always like to think these shirts are starting revivals at schools all over the nation. It would start with one student, who mistakes the Christian shirt for a more recognizable logo. From there, the shirt wearer would stand in the middle of the hallway with their thumbs pointed to the shirt and let the Holy Spirit do his damage…
Girl #1: Hey. Cool shirt! I love Starbucks Coffee!
Girl #2: I do too. But it doesn’t say Starbucks Coffee. It says Sacrificed For me. Eh?
Girl #1: Oh. (starts breathing deeply) Wow. Okay. That’s…convicting. (drops to floor on knees) I need to fast for a while.
And the revival begins…
The ole bait-and-hook: fashion edition.
Before ya knew it, we have walking evangelists all over the place! Instead of an AEROPOSTLE shirt, it's OURAPOSTLE. Boom. ABERCROMBIE & FITCH? Nope. ABREADCRUMB & FISH. That one is a soul piercer.
Guy #1: Hey! Is that a Tommy Hilfiger shirt?
Guy #2: Nope. Look closer bro. It’s a Tell Jesus He’ll Forgive shirt.
Guy #1: Whoa. I…uhh…wow. Can you pray for me?!
This outreach method is flawless because you could be bold in your faith without having to actually open your mouth. The t-shirt does the talking. Words are overrated anyway. In fact, conversation just takes away from the "T". There were no words I could say to add or take away from the powerful message displayed on my chest (Rev. 22:18-19).
Christian T-shirts may be the most effective form of sharing your faith to the unbelieving world. If Jesus lived in today’s world of graphic design and printing presses, he’d be all over it. He could just storm through the temple with a Jesus is my Homeboy robe and point to it. Wouldn’t even need the whip.
I always like to think these shirts are starting revivals at schools all over the nation. It would start with one student, who mistakes the Christian shirt for a more recognizable logo. From there, the shirt wearer would stand in the middle of the hallway with their thumbs pointed to the shirt and let the Holy Spirit do his damage…
Girl #1: Hey. Cool shirt! I love Starbucks Coffee!
Girl #2: I do too. But it doesn’t say Starbucks Coffee. It says Sacrificed For me. Eh?
Girl #1: Oh. (starts breathing deeply) Wow. Okay. That’s…convicting. (drops to floor on knees) I need to fast for a while.
And the revival begins…
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)